


first love never lasts, but second love just might

by haelpack



Category: Good Morning Call (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 11:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haelpack/pseuds/haelpack
Summary: “I don’t mind if you keep loving him. You can use me to forget him.”Nao’s heart breaks all over again when she thinks of the words Natsume had said so softly when she was crying, yet again, over Uehara. It feels like she’s always crying over Uehara. And always, always, someone comforts her while she cries. How few of those times has it been Uehara?How many times has it been Natsume?





	first love never lasts, but second love just might

**Author's Note:**

> Nao should have ended up with Natsume, end of story. Here's how it should have happened. Well, one way it could have happened :p

“I don’t mind if you keep loving him. You can use me to forget him.”

Nao’s heart breaks all over again when she thinks of the words Natsume had said so softly when she was crying, yet again, over Uehara. It feels like she’s always crying over Uehara. And always, _always_ , someone comforts her while she cries. How few of those times has it been Uehara?

The thought of Natsume actually liking Nao, caring for her… It’s almost bizarre. He’s such a flirt! Always running off on some date or other. Well— when was the last time he’d been on a date? Not that Nao kept track of that sort of thing much, but she doesn’t think he’s been out with a girl anytime recently.

How many times has it been Natsume showing up when she needed someone? She’ll never forget how hard he tried to preserve her faith in first love by hiding that music box.

Does she even believe in first love anymore? Perhaps she’s made the biggest mistake ever, breaking up with Uehara. Maybe… maybe that’s it. Her time with Uehara is over. She messed up, end of story.

Nao’s heart hurts, and she doesn’t want to be alone right now. But she can’t bother Ota. (She’s always bothering Ota.) And she certainly can’t knock on Uehara’s door; he wants _space_. And now that they’re broken up, he doesn’t owe Nao anything.

What she need is… a distraction. ( _“It’s disrespectful to you,”_ she’d insisted. But Natsume’s eyes had been sad when he replied, _“Even if I don’t mind?”_ )

She isn’t thinking when she pulls out her phone.

**Nao** : are you busy?

**Nao** : never mind, i don’t want to bother you.

**Natsume** : are you at home? i’ll be right over

It seems the “no boys in Nao’s apartment” rule ended with her relationship with Uehara. Huh. It’s continually surprising to see how different life can be without Uehara. How much her life has revolved around him for almost two years now.

Natsume arrives a lot sooner than Nao would have expected. She hasn’t even had a chance to properly freak out about what’s happening. She’s hasn’t even begun to overthink having a _boy_ in her apartment that’s not her boyfriend.

Well, not that she has a boyfriend anymore.

He knocks on the door and Nao jumps, stumbling a little as she leaves the coach. It shouldn’t be a shock to see Natsume, with his reddish hair and dark eyes, at her door. But, it kind of is. This is so different.

“Hi,” she says. He smiles softly, just a little. Not his cheesy grin that he likes to do when he plays the flirt, but a real one. One she’s seen a lot more than she ever realized until right now.

“Hi,” he murmurs. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, causing him to hunch just a little.

Nao’s heart beats in her chest, hard. She instinctively glances to the floor, anything to get away from his intense stare. Only after a moment does she remember they’re still standing in the doorway.

“Oh! Sorry, sorry,” she says, stepping back and bowing slightly. “Come in, Natsume.”

Natsume looks so comfortable, walking into her apartment. To be fair, he’s been here many times by now. But never alone. The closest was when his little sister, Airi, was sick and asleep in Nao’s bed. And that was interrupted by Uehara, of course.

Her thoughts circle back to _him_ so quickly it’s dizzying. Her heart, which had just been beating so hard a moment ago, feels still. Dead. She looks up and sees Natsume’s careful, questioning look. He must have dropped everything to be here for her, and he doesn’t even know why. He doesn’t even know what she wants, but he came anyone. He always comes for her. Unlike—

Without thinking, Nah takes two steps to Natsume and goes straight up on her tiptoes, crashing her lips against his, her hands on his shoulders to pull him close. She can feel Natsume hesitate for a moment before he gently places his hands on the back of her arms, holding her loosely but reverently.

Nao’s surprised when he starts moving, kissing her over and over. She gasps a little— this is so different than any other kiss she’s had before— and then Natsume’s tongue slips into her mouth. She squeaks, but it’s swallowed by Natsume’s mouth, body, presence.

As soon as she removes her grip from Natsume’s shoulders, he lets go of her and steps back.

It’s deafeningly quiet.

“Sorry,” Nao breathes, “I shouldn’t have—” 

“Don’t.” Natsume interrupts. “Don’t apologize. I just don’t understand.”

Nao stammers for a moment before finally saying, “I want to forget. For a little while, at least.” She practically watches as the pieces line up in his head and he understands what she’s saying. He nods, humming. Giving his okay. “I know it’s selfish and disrespectful to you, Natsume. You deserve so much more than that—”

“I’m saying okay, Nao,” Natsume says firmly. He grins, looking almost gleeful. “I can help you forget. Just lead the way.” Slowly, she smiles. She gives a little nod. This… could be a good thing. So long as Natsume is okay with it. Her heart may still be Uehara’s, but that’s okay. Natsume could help her move on.

She grabs his hand, and almost marvels at how he allows her to take the lead. She leads him to the couch, pulling so he sits right next to her. Their thighs touch, and Nao turns to look at him without giving up a bit of contact. The air feels thick, heavy. 

And then, Natsume starts giggling. His laugh is loud and infectious, full of pure joy. Nao can’t help but start laughing, too. She buries her face into his shoulder, trying to smother her giggles. Natsume hugs her, and it feels natural. Not something out of the ordinary, not a shock, but completely right.

Uehara’s name starts to creep into her head as the giggles die away, and she almost immediately turns her head to kiss Natsume’s jaw. He catches her drift right away, shifting just a little to catch her lips in another kiss.

It’s impossible to think of anything (or anyone) else while kissing Natsume. These kisses— they’re all encompassing. They fog her mind in the best way. She couldn’t have known that when Natsume had said he could make her forget, he hadn’t been joking around. Perhaps being such a flirt wasn’t a bad thing, if it meant he could do _this_.

Somehow, Nao ends up in Natsume’s lap, one leg on either side of his. His hands rest on her hips, hers are somehow deep in his hair. He’s given her a crash course in making out, which is something she’s never done before, and now her tongue is down his throat. This is the best experience she’s ever had when its come to kissing.

Her phone rings, effectively breaking the magic. Nao pants as she sits back. She gives a breathless little giggle; Natsume looks as wrecked as she feels. His bronze hair is a mess, sticking up in all directions. His cheeks are flushed and his lips shiny. He carefully readjusts his glasses, beaming back at her. She can’t help but smile back, bite her lip, and lean to kiss him again.

Nao’s phone rings again, reminding her why they stopped in the first place. She tries to twist without leaving Natsume’s lap, but immediately falls into the space between the couch and coffee table. Natsume laughs at her as she scrambles to sit up and grab her phone before it goes to voicemail. 

She grabs it and pauses. “Uehara,” she mumbles. The air is tense again, but not in a good way. She struggles not to look at Natsume as she answers. “Hello?”

Natsume gets up and heads to the fridge. Nao tries not to look at him as Uehara speaks.

“Sorry to bother you. I just found one of your notebooks in my bag. I thought you should know. You mentioned having a test in Literature this week.” Nao blinks.

“Oh.” Something deflates in her chest, and she realizes that she was hoping for more. Of course she was hoping for more. She’s always hoping for more than what she gets, and then she has to settle for whatever little he gives her. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m at the lab until eight, but you have come pick it up if you need.” 

Finally, Nao raises her gaze to look at Natsume. He’s leaning against the fridge, sipping a bottle of water. He looks a little pissed, but quickly paints a smile on his face when he sees her looking.

“I’ll pick it up before class tomorrow,” Nao says firmly, surprising even herself. “I’m busy now.”

“Really?” Uehara sounds bored, uncaring. Nao hums, affirming her statement.

Natsume looks at her, eyebrows raised. She smiles at him.

“I have to go. I’ll get it from you in the morning,” she tells Uehara before hanging up. And it kind of feels good, to not come running at Uehara’s beck and call. To not have to face him and Saeko in a small space and try not to get jealous. To let all that melt away from her mind.

Nao places the phone back down on the table. She makes eye contact with Natsume and wordlessly raises her eyebrows. Natsume practically drops the water bottle in his haste to get back to her. He slides in between the coffee table and the couch, right next to her. He cups her face with his hands, kissing her before she even has to ask.

—

“So you and Uehara made up?” Marina asks as soon as she sits down across from Nao. Nao stops smiling and playing with her food, looking up at her best friend.

“Eh?”

“You’re looking really happy,” Marina points out, smiling as she breaks her chopsticks. It’s been the first time in about a week and a half that they’ve gotten to spend time together. College is crazy, and it’s harder than ever for them to get together since they don’t go to the same school. “Did he apologize for not believing in your feelings?”

“Oh. No, we haven’t really made up. I haven’t spoken to him in almost a week.” She’d been spending too much time with Natsume, if she was being honest. And she felt good about it. She hardly had time to think with Natsume around. 

“Really? That must be hard!” Marina says through a mouthful of rice. “I couldn’t go that long with Mitchan being mad at me. And if I were the one who was mad, I’d call him just to yell.” Nao just shrugs and continues to eat.

“Nao! Marina!” Ota practically sings as she spots them in the dining hall, hurrying over. She sits down with her own tray of food.

“Ota, isn’t Nao being weird?” Maria asks, pointing at Nao with her free hand.

“Weird?” Ota repeats. Her hair is in space buns today, with colorful clips keeping the baby hairs in place.

“She’s too happy for someone in a fight with her boyfriend,” Marina explains.

Ota brightens. “Are you and Uehara back together?” 

Nao quickly shakes her head, swallowing so she can deny it. “No, no! We’re still broken up.” Ota freezes, looking confused.

“Then how are you so happy?”

“I’m—” Nao begins, catching sight of Natsume as he strolls past on the floor below. He hasn’t noticed her. He’s wearing one of his stylish outfits as usual, dressing nicer than any of the other boys. “I’m focusing on other things.”

Nao doesn’t know if telling her friends about this weird thing going on with her and Natsume is the best idea. It’s not like they’re actually dating. And anyway, Nao knows that she’s in the wrong right now. (What kind of girl fools around with a boy she _knows_ likes her when she doesn’t feel the same way?) She doesn’t want to see that disappointed look on Marina’s face. And then Ota will take Nao’s side (she always does) and that could cause a fight between Ota and Marina. It’s bad enough that she's the reason Natsume and Uehara aren’t speaking—

“Nao? Earth to Nao!” Marina’s leaning across the table to wave a hand in Nao’s face. Nao tries to smile to dissolve the tension she’s caused.

“Sorry I was, uh, thinking.”

“Spiraling, it looked like,” Ota commented lightly. Nao stays quiet.

“What’s going on?” Marina asks.

“Ladies, looking lovely as always!” Like a gift from heaven, Natsume’s voice ends the conversation then and there. He smiles at all of them, acting like a flirt just as always. He doesn’t kiss Nao, or hold her hand, though she can see he wants to. She can see it in his eyes, the way his hands twitch towards her. He’s completely normal, engaging Marina into conversation about who-knows-what and cracking jokes left and right. But to Nao, he’s completely closed off. A door, locked from the inside. It’s a door that only Nao can see, one that only she could unlock.

It hurts, suddenly, to be able to see how much he _wants_. He wants her to actually be with him. To be more than a distraction that’s kept secret from the world. But he likes her so much that he’s willing to take whatever he can get.

It hurts in her chest. She feels like a cornered animal, desperate to escape. It’s unfortunate that with this particular collection of people, Nao is the glue that brings them together. It’s impossible to escape unnoticed.

It’s a painfully long time until she can actually leave under the guise of heading to class. As soon as she walks away, she gets two texts.

**Marina** : we’re meeting at your apartment tomorrow to discuss. i can tell you’re hiding something.

**Natsume** : are you feeling okay? do you want to meet after class?

Nao only responds to one of those texts.

**Nao** : can we meet in the handicrafts room at 4? the club won’t start until 6

—

“You’re playing with fire,” Mitsuishi, having been practically dragged there by his girlfriend, states while lounging on Nao’s couch. Marina had declared this a “girl’s night”, and then promptly said Mitchan could stay because he “doesn’t count”.

“Hey!” Mitsuishi had protested. Marina just patted him on the arm.

“You’ve been friends with us too long to not count as one of the girls.”

“I’m your boyfriend, remember?” Marina just waved him off.

“I know!” Nao exclaims. She already spilled everything to them, almost as soon as they arrived. “I know, and it’s terrible but…” She looks down and mumbles, “kissing him is kind of amazing.”

“More amazing that kissing Uehara?”

_It’s not like we kissed all that much_ , Nao doesn’t say.

“That doesn’t even matter. Nao, you’re going to hurt Natsume if you keep this up.” Marina is firm. “He’s your friend and you’re going to break his heart. You’ll give him hope and then rip it away when you make up with Uehara.”

“I don’t think Uehara and I are making up,” Nao says, “ever.”

“Could it be… Do you think you could have feelings for Natsume? One day, maybe?” Ota asks. Nao stammers before shrugging pitifully.

“Maybe? I don’t know! I like being with him and he makes me forget all the bad stuff. All of it. He’s funny and good with his sister and he always puts others before himself. He’s way too selfless for all he pretends otherwise.”

“It sounds like you already like him, Nao,” Mitsuishi says baldly. Nao’s eyes widen.

“Eh?!” Nao shakes her head. “Just because I like him doesn’t mean I like him! What about Uehara?”

“Well, how do you feel about Uehara?” Marina asks. She’s always been so supportive of their relationship, and now she looks cautious as she broaches the subject at all.

Nao isn’t quite so quick to speak this time. “Well, Uehara is… Uehara. He’s hard-working. He’s kind, but he never shows you how he feels so you never really know. I think I know, but I never seem to be right.”

“Does he make you forget the bad stuff? Like Natsume?” Marina presses. Nao shrinks a little.

“Most of the bad stuff Natsume helps me forget is caused by Uehara,” she admits. Marina looks almost heartbroken. 

Ota, who’s been quiet this whole time, finally speaks up. “Could it be that you’re trying to hold on to Uehara because he’s been such a big part of your life for so long? You don’t want to let go of your first love, even if it’s time?”

“First love never lasts,” Nao murmurs, thinking of the music box, cracked on the floor and petals strewn everywhere. And who had tried so hard to protect her from that hard truth. She gasps. “Oh my god.”

—

Little Airi, with her pigtails and chubby cheeks, answers the door when Nao knocks. She brightens when she sees Nao in the doorway. “Nao!” She cries, hugging her tight across the waist.

“Hi, Airi,” Nao says warmly, trying to calm her pounding heart to give Airi some attention. “How are you?”

“I’m good! Nii-chan took me back to the squirrel park again and I got to pet even more,” Airi blabs, pulling Nao inside. “And then we drew pictures of squirrels, but Nii-chan’s picture was way better than mine. He hung mine up on the fridge anyway and—”

“What have I told you about answering the door?” Natsume asks as he hurries down the front staircase. Airi clings more tightly to Nao, making a face at her brother. 

“I looked in the window and it wasn’t a stranger!” She says. “I did it right.”

“That doesn’t matter, I told you not to,” Natsume responds with much less heat as his gaze settles on Nao. “Nao, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Sorry,” Nao says, bowing a little. “I was in a rush and didn’t think to call ahead. I hope I’m not intruding?”

“Not at all,” Natsume says, though he looks confused. Nao’s done something completely unexpected and he doesn’t know what’s happening.

“Can Nao stay for dinner?” Airi asks. “We could play dolls!”

“Ah, I actually wanted to talk to your brother for a bit,” Nao explains. “Could we maybe play dolls after?” Airi pouts a little, but finally relents after Natsume promises Nao will stay for dinner.

“I can cook, if you like,” Nao offers after Airi finally returns to the living room to play.

“You don’t need to cook for us, I can manage,” he says. There’s an awkward pause. “I don’t think now’s really a good time to… I mean, Airi’s here right now and…”

“I didn’t come over to, um, mess around,” Nao says quickly, cringing at her phrasing. Natsume’s mouth quirks at her words. 

“So then, to what do I owe this visit? Normally, it’s me coming to your place.” That’s always easier, since Nao lives alone and Natsume stays at home to take care of his sister.

“I was talking with my friends— our friends,” she corrects. It’s true. Marina might be the only one who truly cares more for Nao that Natsume at this point. “And I came to a realization.”

Her gaze drops. She’s never confessed to someone, not like this. Sure, she knows that Natsume likes her, cares about her deeply. But it still feels like she’s putting herself out there. “I don’t want to be with Uehara anymore. I— I want to be with you. For real.”

“Please,” Natsume says, his voice sounding strangled. Nao looks up, and he looks so conflicted. Hopeful, yet wary. Ecstatic, yet scared. “Please don’t give me hope if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it. I mean it,” she repeats, fiercer this time. “I care about you, Shu, and I want to be with you. It might take me time to get to love, but I like you so much.” She can hardly finish her declaration. As soon as she uses Natsume’s given name, he’s grabbing her in his arms. His lips swallow her final “so much” as he kisses her harder than ever before.

It’s intense and makes her stomach twist in the best possible way, but it’s over far too soon. Airi’s only in the next room, after all. They press their foreheads together, smiling. Never has Nao felt so confident when its come to a relationship. With Uehara, she was always afraid that his attention would wander, that she cared more than he did. With Natsume, she knows his feelings as well as she knows her own.

It reminds her of that day, so long ago, when Issei explained how people in a relationship should be equal. And she feels equal with Natsume.

She can’t help but lean in and give him another soft, sweet kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Please drop some kudos and/or a comment! Who do you prefer: Uehara, Daichi, Issei, or Natsume?


End file.
